Yesterday I thought I understood why the Lord gave me a Scripture: “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Is. 40:31) I thought it was because I didn’t get enough sleep and would need His strength to get me through the day. It turns out it WAS to get me through the day, but not because of lack of sleep; instead, it was because I would be blind-sided in a few hours.
I’ve shared with you before that when I was 5 I was sexually molested by my adult neighbor, and at that time the lying devil implanted in me a message of shame and that I will never be enough. The Lord healed me from that shame a couple of years ago by giving me the understanding that I don’t have to carry my burdens; He joyously carries our burdens. “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt 11:28)
Even though the Lord showed me the truth about who I am in Christ (see Who Am I?), the lies from the devil about my old shame and my feelings of not measuring up are an area that he throws darts at, because he knows that’s a weakness for me. Yesterday, the wind was knocked out of my sails. On my second day at my new job, they let me go. It was out of left field, and it wasn’t because of anything I did wrong–because I conducted myself professionally, and dove right in to take care of the work at hand. I did nothing illegal, immoral or without walking in God’s grace or anything that would dishonor Him. The reason doesn’t really matter, but I won’t hide it in shame. Apparently they are opposed to smoking, and realized that I smoked. They said it was against their culture, although they never mentioned it. I was in shock.
The shock finally began to subside. We have no power over things that happen to and around us, but I serve the Lord who has power and dominion over all things. I did have the choice of what I would choose to do with the situation. I could have gotten angry and simmered in righteous indignation. I choose to thank God for giving me the Scripture He knew I would need, and to continue to trust in Him and His plans for me, because I KNOW that He works out “all things… for good to those who love God [and] to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28).
I did not crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and give into depression. No, I made a call about a job interview, and for which I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. I called a couple of sisters-in-Christ prayer warriors to share what happened. Another potential job called me to interview me on the phone, that may turn into another interview. I’m walking in the steps the Lord put before me, trusting that He will provide for my needs and continue to carry my burdens I lay on the foot of the cross of Jesus.
I confess I did feel yucky–sorry I don’t have a better descriptive word to use now. I laid my “yuck” at His feet, prayed His promises back to Him while crying this morning. And He gave me another Word. “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor 10:4-5).
We glorify the Lord when we continue to trust Him, no matter the circumstances. I don’t know what you may be going through right now, but I do know that someone out there also needed to hear this today. I pray you boldly take your circumstances to the Lord in prayer and stand firm against whatever lies the devil is trying to get you to hear. “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” (Eph. 6:10-11)
And “sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you” (1 Pet 3:15). The darkness of the world will be drawn to the light that is within us, and the Lord will be glorified if we stand firm. Please keep me in your prayers so that I may continue to stand strong in the Lord, and that my actions, thoughts and feelings will bring Him glory. How can I pray for you?