This morning I realized over a year ago the Lord sent me a gift, and I haven’t seen this person as a gift before today. This person stays “at the end of themselves”, there is always pain, drama, pride; they always have a feeling of being continually lost and not knowing what to do, wanting someone to reach in and save the day and give them their perceived needs. I have prayed for and with this person, I’ve shared God’s Word. This person is “ever hearing, but never understanding; ever seeing, but never perceiving.” (Is. 6:9-10) This person’s heart is “calloused; making their ears dull and closing their eyes”. 

You may wonder about the gift? I have been in this exact place for much of my life, always wishing but not hoping. What’s the difference? Wishing is wanting something to be different, almost magically. Hoping is knowing WHO holds my future, and that in Christ alone is my hope, my joy, and my peace. “We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. Let Your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in You alone.” (Ps. 33:20-22)

This morning I was thinking about the various times that I’ve come to the end of myself, and how God sent me His message to save me from myself, from living a life out of relationship with Him, even as a Christian. And the gift that came to me this morning was showing me that not only in difficult times am I at the end of myself, I am at the end of myself in every moment. In every moment I must depend completely on the Lord. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:12b-13)

The beginning of The Beatitudes shows us how we should keep ourselves and why. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. 5:3 NIV) I looked at this same verse in The Message, “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule.” This morning that clicked for me, “He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:30)

I am so thankful that the Lord reminded me of where I lived much of my life, and how I live it now–seeking Him, putting my cares in His capable hands, trusting He will show me the path He wants me to take, and knowing that no matter what else happens here on this earth, my eternal life is secure in Christ Jesus. “Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of His purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, He confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.” (Heb. 6: 17-20)

You may think I’ve got this perfectly figured out, but you would be wrong. Just yesterday, something small came up that seemed big to me, and discouraged me. But this morning, I gave it to the Lord and I trust that it will work out just as He wants it to, and I will be fine. It may not work out as I want it to, but the temporary isn’t where I need to focus. My focus is on Jesus who anchors my soul, firm and secure. “With less of [me] there is more of God and His rule.”