Yesterday was a difficult day for me. It was just a little over four months since I lost my Dad, and it was his birthday. Then I found out that a dear friend of mine’s son was found dead; she was told while she is in the hospital. My heart hurts for her pain and loss. My heart hurts for the loss I still grieve — both of my parents gone within two years. When I came home from church, I was just utterly sad. I felt like I was in a deep void. I didn’t want to watch TV, read, or talk. I just sat on my bed. I took the utter sadness and the void I felt to the Lord in prayer.

I talked to Him about the hole of nothingness I felt. And then I began to ask Him about what a true void is. How did He create the heavens and earth from nothingness? I began to think about the majesty He created — the mountains, the oceans, the stars in the sky, all the plant life on the earth and in the sea — all the creatures great and small and I began to praise Him for what He did. In my praise, I became aware that if He could create all that we see from nothing – from a void – He could fill the hole of sadness in my heart, and I asked Him to give me peace and comfort and to do the same for my friend.

It was an amazing feeling that started from the top of my head down to my toes — a feeling of peace. My sadness is still with me, but it is coupled with joy and peace that I am His child and He cares about filling my heart with His love and His peace. I read through quite a few Psalms, and want to share one of them with you. However you are currently feeling, I encourage you to take it all to Him. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Psalm 19

The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
    The skies display his craftsmanship.
Day after day they continue to speak;
    night after night they make him known.
They speak without a sound or word;
    their voice is never heard.
Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
    and their words to all the world.

God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
    It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.
The sun rises at one end of the heavens
    and follows its course to the other end.
    Nothing can hide from its heat.

The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
    reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
The commandments of the Lord are right,
    bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
    giving insight for living.
Reverence for the Lord is pure,
    lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
    each one is fair.
They are more desirable than gold,
    even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
    even honey dripping from the comb.
They are a warning to your servant,
    a great reward for those who obey them.

How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
    Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
    Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
    and innocent of great sin.

May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.