This weekend I was given an opportunity to trust in our Lord God. On Friday afternoon, I was filled with dread. I was asked to set up a meeting on Saturday, and I was asked to do it behind someone else’s back. It didn’t feel right, so I sought doing it the correct way. Unfortunately (and without my knowledge of lots of things going on that I wasn’t privy to), I became someone else’s last straw on Friday.
I spent Friday afternoon and evening feeling very unsettled. On Friday I allowed the enemy to put thoughts and scenarios in my mind that would only lead to disaster. Late Friday evening I received a message that the meeting would take place after all. I was still filled with dread and a near certainty that the end result of the meeting would be emotionally disastrous for a very close family member.
Saturday morning, I called on our Lord God to direct my steps, give me words to say, and the heart to hear. I asked prayer warriors to join me in prayer without giving any details, just letting them know that God knew the need. Over 65 people joined me in prayer and I felt that whatever we had to face, God was paving the way and would be with us. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
Saturday afternoon came, and the meeting was tender. My fear was that this meeting would be the beginning of the end of a relationship. But our Lord God knew things I did not know. He directed my steps, gave me the words to say, gave me the heart to listen, and He did a miraculous work in the hearts and minds of four people on Saturday. I give all the glory to God.
I’ve sat with what happened on Saturday and have tried to process it. I’ve been reminded of so many times that I have forged ahead believing I knew all of what was going on (when I couldn’t have known it all – only God is omniscious); and on my own power trying to take care of a situation. I’m so thankful that even through my pain and dread on Saturday morning I gave the whole situation to God. He knew what needed to happen; He knew how it needed to happen; and He needed me to lean on Him and not my own understanding.
One of my old wounds I have carried since early childhood is that I am not enough. God has been working with my heart. The truth is, by myself I am not enough. I’m learning to not only accept that fact, but to truly have joy that I am not enough. But my Lord God IS! “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. ‘I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.'” (John 15:4-5)
For those who joined me in prayer, I thank you! My hope is that in sharing my story, others who are trying to take care of situations on their own will put it all in God’s hands and ask Him to direct your path.