Why go to the memory?
If we have identified the emotion, and we think we have discovered the lie, why go to the memory? Sometimes we don’t discover the lie till we get into the memory, other times it’s all about figuring out why we believe the lie so we can fully own it at the source. This step is important in getting us out of denial regarding the lie, and truly taking ownership of it. That’s where we really get in a good place to be able to receive truth on it.
When going after memories, there may be a lot of them, so where do you start? Go after either the oldest memory connected to that emotion, or at least the strongest memories where that emotion stands out. It is usually not necessary to visit every memory to resolve the lie, but be prepared to go after more than one memory as it may be necessary for compete healing.
Owning the lie is crucial
One of the reasons why we don’t hear the Holy Spirit is because we are so buried in denial about what our heart truly believes. One of the secrets is getting the person out of their place of denial, and getting them to truly own the lie. “Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.” (1 Corinthians 12:7)
In western cultures, we have become masters are burying our pain and denying how we really feel inside. Unraveling this is a major key to hearing from the Holy Spirit concerning the lie(s) that your heart believes. Writing off how you feel does no good when you’re trying to hear from the Holy Spirit!
The victim mentality roadblock
Victim mentality means you are always looking for somebody else or something around you to change before you take responsibility for your own issues and choices. Those caught up in victim mentality will blame others for their issues, instead of taking responsibility for what they are responsible for. Victim mentality basically believes that it’s okay for you to behave and make the choices you do, because of something that somebody else did to you earlier in life. It makes sin okay and somebody else’s fault. It takes spiritual maturity to take responsibility for your actions and choices, own the problem, and choose to deal with it. Victim mentality is a trap to keep you in bondage to your issues, and prevent you from ever being the person that God called you to be. “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
If you are going to break free from your issues, you first have to own them and give yourself a reason to change, not an excuse to live in your stuff. Many times we give the enemy strength because of what we believe in our hearts, which is why it’s so important to deal with the faulty beliefs in our hearts. It may be harder to resist sin, but the choice is still yours to sin. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” (Galations 6:7-8)
Lies vs conclusions
Often mistaken as lies, are something we call conclusions. These can be true or false, and the bottom line is that they really don’t matter in the whole scope of things. They may be painful truths, but once a person receives truth on the core lie(s), the conclusions won’t have their damaging effect. The types of core lies that we are looking for almost always fall into two categories: something you believe about yourself and who you are, or something you believe or perceive about God that isn’t true.
A conclusion might look like this: “They didn’t love me. I didn’t matter to them.” Such a thing may be false, but it might be true. But behind these types of conclusions usually there’s a lie that makes the conclusion painful. The lie behind the conclusion here might be “I’m unlovable.” THAT is a lot more painful than somebody not loving you! If I believe I am unlovable, your not loving me might be very painful to me. Even when a parent didn’t love a child, those deep wounds can be healed when the Holy Spirit speaks to them with something like, “But you are my special child. I loved you from the day you were born. You are of great value to me.” Who cares what a parent thinks of you, when God Himself feels that way about you?!?
The Holy Spirit speaks to us concerning our core lies, not necessarily our conclusions. It may be true that your parents didn’t love you. But if you dig down to the core lie that you are unlovable, that’s where the Holy Spirit is eager to speak to you and give you truth on that.
The Holy Spirit always has the answer!
I don’t care how horrific the memory or how terrible to wound, the Holy Spirit wants to heal your heart if you will let Him. There is no question you can throw at Him that He isn’t ready to answer. Many times people are angry with God, but never admit it because it’s not the Christian thing to do. He wants to debunk the lies that we believe about Him, and is ready to answer even the toughest questions we have. He knows you better than anybody in the world, and knows the most perfect thing to say to you about what you are struggling with! “The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord—” (Isaiah 11:2)
Things that will keep us from hearing
While the Holy Spirit wants to speak to every single one of us, there are things which will keep us from hearing His voice. Being able to recognize and deal with the roadblocks is essential to successful ministry.
Not wanting to feel pain: If a person isn’t willing to allow themself to feel the painful emotion or visit the traumatic memory, they are suppressing the pain and are in denial about it to some degree or another. Owning the emotion and the lie behind the emotion is key to receiving truth on it. If a person isn’t willing to feel the emotion, they’ll likely never discover the lie, as the emotion is the bridge to the lie.
Guardian lies: A guardian lie is a lie that stands in the way of a person accessing memories and emotions. Somebody struggling with panic may not be able to go to the feeling or memories because they believe something such as, “If I go there, I will die!” or “If I let myself feel that emotion, I won’t be able to handle it.” The key to dealing with these is to treat them as a lie which also needs the Holy Spirit to speak truth to. Somebody simply believing, “This won’t really work God won’t speak to me about that” is a lie that reveals to us something they believe about their worthiness to have God personally speak to them. In a case like this, there’s self-worth issues rooted in lie-based belief. They probably don’t feel worthy for God to speak to them. Once the guardian lies are broken down, they can then proceed on to receive ministry.
Anger: Whenever a person cannot hear the Holy Spirit, anger is often present. It can be difficult to hear the Holy Spirit while there is anger present. Many times it is important to first deal with the anger before proceeding. If you are willing to let Jesus hold the anger, you will be able to hear from the Holy Spirit.
Failure to get the core lie: Conclusions often stand in the way or block a person from recognizing the core lie(s) that are hiding out behind the conclusions. Stopping at the wrong lie or a conclusion is a great way to keep from getting to the root and thereby getting the genuine deep level healing that God intended. “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” (John 14:26)
Not wanting to hear God’s answer: This sounds almost absurd, but it’s often a roadblock that can keep a person from hearing God’s voice. They may be afraid to find out the truth, because they are afraid God will say something harsh or too burdensome for them to bear. This is all lie-based beliefs that are rooted in a wrong understanding of God’s heart and nature. Jesus said “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30).
It was the Pharisees who laid heavy burdens on people that literally crushed them. They would set God’s standards so high that nobody could reach them: “They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” (Matthew 23:4). The Bible tells us “He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:6).
We should never be afraid to hear God’s take on something, but for somebody who does not perceive God correctly, it can be a frightening thought. If you believe a guardian lie, such as “God is going to lay a burden on me that I won’t be able to bear”, lift those lies up to Jesus for an answer. These are lies that the enemy has planted in hopes to keep you from ever getting free in that area. Some of the most damaging things we can believe, are things which keep us from running into our heavenly daddy’s arms when we need Him the most.
Filling in the blanks: When the Holy Spirit speaks, it’s very healing, so if no healing is taking place, then it’s not Him doing the speaking. Even if you feel some genuine healing, it can be Him addressing one of several lies that must be addressed, so don’t be discouraged if one answer doesn’t rock your world. Just be on guard for those answers that do nothing for you; it’s likely that you are filling in the blanks, instead of waiting on the Lord. It could be your logical mind getting in the way and firing off religious answers to the questions before the heart has a chance to hear from the Holy Spirit. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)
Knowing the Holy Spirit’s voice
The Holy Spirit is very gentle and loving, and will speak to some of us through an inner voice, others with visions, and some even hear an auditable voice. I think most of us hear Him through an inner voice, that “still small voice” as the Bible talks about. Here are some questions you might use when discerning the voice of the Spirit:
- Do you feel peace (not numbness) and a sense of joy and freedom?
- Is the answer in alignment with the Word of God?
- Does the message belittle or make the person feel stupid or worthless?
- Do they feel discouragement or condemnation?
When we get correction from the Holy Spirit, it’s in such a way that is so loving and motivating that we know in our hearts that He is looking out for our best interest, and it is indeed truth spoken in a tone of love and concern.